Monday, May 3, 2010

Women of a certain age

I've been thinking about friendship lately. Is it me or does it really get more difficult to make friends as you get older? It would make sense for it to get more difficult since your interests shift and you expect different thing from people. I remember being 17 at a bathroom in a club (underage drinking and partying was my sport!) and some random girl came up to me and told me how much she loved my top, we have been friends ever since. I gave her that top and she still has it.

I find it really challenging to make friends these days and quite franky most of the time I just don't want to be bothered with it. Is it that I am too demanding? Too jaded? Maybe even scared to get hurt. Could it be that I am comfortable knowing that regardless of friendships being married means I am not alone? Fuck! Just the thought of that is really disturbing because I swore to myself that I would never turn into "that married girl that doesn't need friends cause she married her best friend", I hate that girl! No, I am not that girl. I love my husband and we have a great relationship but I don't necessarily want to discuss with him the things I talk to my girlfriends about, besides, he would be bored to tears or completely uninterested when I start talking about Tomkat, Brangelina and Speidi and if he wasn't I would be afraid, very afraid.

I don't understand women that say they want a man that likes fashion designers, pop music, trips to the spa and never ending shopping trips...umm do you want a gay friend? Or do you want to get laid? Cause' you cant have both from the same man!! (I mean, physically you could but ewww!) Just like you cant get everything from one girlfriend.

I consider myself quite promiscuous when it comes to friendships, I have many friends, all very different and I think they all represent different aspects of who I am, all my different personalities..ha! And even though this is fun and all, most of the time we share the laughter but hide the tears. You are who you want to be, share what you want to share, never get too close this way you wont be judged or hurt. In part because lets be honest, few friendships are without self interest. I have found myself craving a core, those people who not only are there when your world catches on fire but remain when the smoke clears and help you pick up the pieces. This is the type of friendship that is the hardest to find, the ultimate goal, the hallmark card inspiring , lifetime made for tv movie of friendships. The friend that'll force you to examine and encourage you to grow. That doesn't tell you what you want to hear, tells you the truth and nothing but the truth, unadulterated, pure, clean and concise. I don't have time for anything less, after all I am not 17 anymore.

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